Wednesday, February 29, 2012

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE CHEMOBRAIN IF.....

Let's play a game today.  Things have been so heavy for weeks now... It's time to inject a little humor or something.  Do you like Moonstruck?  It's my favorite movie.....  I hear the grandfather, "Someone tell a joke," as he appeared somewhat distraught.  Time for a joke or two or fifty.  Just a little break in the militant action, the sadness, the outrage.  Yep... we need a break.  Or, even if YOU don't need one, I DO.  I just hope something doesn't happen between typing time and post time to return me to militant time......

In the spirit of "let's lighten it up, yes, LET'S."  Okay?  OK!  Here goes.  I'm sure many of us have gotten emails that begin:

"You know you are from New York if..."

"You know you are Italian if....."

Plenty of other examples, but some of them can be construed as disparaging to others so I'll stick with the ones that specifically pertain to me.  I am from New York and I am third generation Italian-American.  All of my great-grandparents emigrated to the US from different parts of Italy.  Their names are etched in stone on Ellis Island.

My grandparents were all born in, well.. New York.... And I was raised in a very old fashioned Italian home.  So yes, tomato sauce is gravy and "the city" is Manhattan. Those other boroughs don't count for shit. (And yes, you do curse, a lot)

Chemobrain?  A friend, who obviously does NOT have chemobrain or she would never had planted this thought in my OCD, ADD, unable to focus for five seconds head...... "You should do one of those 'You know you are'..... joke things."  People pleasing is one of those things I simply MUST DO.  Besides, I kinda owe her.  This blogging gig was her suggestion.......

Given the fact that the Journal of Clinical Oncology JUST published results of a study wherein they observed "Survivors Who Were Treated With CMF Chemotherapy May Have Subtle Long-Term Cognitive Difficulties" ....... and they are talking twenty years OUT... and yes, CMF was the cocktail of choice for my cancer.  And, maybe some of the issues may not be so subtle.. and why do I suddenly feel like a child?  Why do I want to start chanting... "Nah nah-nah na na.. Told you so...."

Keep that validation flowing my way.  The world is getting it.  At long last....  So..... here goes with a list of "stuff" .....  I hope you will add to the conversation.  Humor me and share your silliness.  Comment away.  I am well aware this is a sensitive topic and I believe it is far more widespread than we will ever know.  In fact, I'm CERTAIN ..... willing to bet my LIFE on it certain ...... that many hide their deficiencies in fear of their jobs...... if you want to share and fear for your career, you can comment on this blog "anonymously" and even I will be unable to locate you.  Comments are not moderated.  Maybe I should not have made that quite so public.  Please don't give me a headache and force me to go deleting shit all over the place.  I'll start and then I hope some of you will Fire Away.....

You know you have chemobrain IF....
  • The biggee:  You drop words.  Ordinary, everyday words simply vanish from your brain.  In the middle of the sentence.  Right as you were ready to SAY THE WORD.  Poof.  Gone.  If you do this and you do NOT have chemobrain, there is a difference between "it's on the tip of my tongue" and a "word drop."  If you have chemobrain, you know EXACTLY what I mean.
  • You want to punch people in the face when they say, "I didn't have chemo (or cancer), what's my excuse?"
  • Your yoga instructor finally realizes she can't say "place your right hand on your left ankle" because you can no longer hear left and right and figure out which hand goes where and you find your body is twisted into a pretzel before she gently guides your movement.
  • You can no longer read a map on a computer screen.  You actually touch the screen as you hear your own voice saying "west-east" and you still think you need to head the wrong way if you want to get yourself to California from NY.  Wonder how long I'd be in the Atlantic Ocean before I realized I was heading for Europe.
  • You can't retain a string of more than 5 numbers unless the FIRST three numbers are meaningful in your life.... like an birthday or an anniversary.  On a good day, you may have the memory power to recall a Six Stringer.  If there is a 7th number thrown in, you can't remember ANY of the numbers.
  • You constantly transpose letters or numbers.  Or better yet, you find a number inserted in the middle of a word and wonder who the hell wrote that???
  • Certain letters no longer exist.  For me.... "q" is my new "g" Every time I type the word "fatigue" I have to pause. Only after I saw the word fatique in several of my journals did I realize this.
  • You say, "I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?" .... but YOU do it about five times in the same conversation with the SAME PERSON.
  • You stop in the middle of a sentence.  Literally.  And you have NO idea what the hell you were even saying.
  • The simplest math calculations are impossible to perform in your head.  Sometimes, even writing them out on paper is useless.  Impossible to determine where to "start" breaking down what amounts to a second grade math problem.
  • You are exhausted at the end of the day, you know you were busy ALL day, yet, at the end of the day, the TO DO pile hasn't budged.  In fact, it's gotten bigger.
  • You have gone from Miss Organized to living in what appears to be a college dorm room.  In every single room. In your entire home.  A mess everywhere.
  • Focus.  Huh.  What did you say?  I'm sorry.  I got distracted.
  • Walking and chewing gum simultaneously?  Multi-tasking.  No can do.
  • You have a note book to keep everything in one place.  
  • Within a week, there are three or four notebooks floating around.
  • You can't find ANY of the notebook(s) and even if they are right in front of you, you don't check them anyway.
  • You can have a completely normal, pre-chemobrain GREAT day.  And then?  Same shit for another month before you see the likes of that again.
  • Reading a novel?  Despite the fact you always loved to read, and you may have always had a "book stash" on hand from poring voraciously through the NYT Book Review each week, EVERY week, IF you can even concentrate with the book in front of you, good luck when you pick it up the next day.  It's like you never read a thing.  Stick to short stories.
  • Your phone calendar is your lifeline and the alarm feature is essential.  When you remember to unmute the phone.  IF you remember to unmute the phone.  IF you can even find the phone.....
  • You do eventually find the phone.  In the freezer.  In the fridge.  The spare fridge in the garage.
  • There's no need for a spare fridge because the real fridge is empty and the only thing in the garage fridge is your cell phone and maybe one or two of the landline phones, too.  Oh yeah, and a notebook. 
  • You notice the gas burner is on two hours after the food was cooked, consumed and the mess in the kitchen has long since been cleared.  That will be funny until the house burns down.  Then, not so much.
  • You MIGHT have an issue behind the wheel of the car.  Some kind of focus issue when you have to maneuver from a stopped position where you are required to pay attention to the front of the car AND the back of the car. That constitutes multi-tasking under the new normal.  This too will be funny until your shiny car resembles something that took the pink ribbon in the demolition derby.  Then, not so funny anymore.  Not the car, not the new normal and especially not the friggen ribbon.
  • You want to kill the next person who tells you "it's the new normal"
  • You don't want any more "work around solutions."  You want answers.  You want the truth.  You can't HANDLE the truth.  Sorry, Jack, You Are Wrong.  I CAN handle the truth.  I just need Cher to bitch slap me to Snap Out Of It. 
  • You turn into the court jester because sometimes, ya just gotta laugh.  
  • Instead of crying over the fact that some chemo drug may have caused physiological brain damange, you are jumping up and down in jubilation.  Every time new research information is splashed across some medical journal, you are deciding if you should be shedding tears (of joy?) or blasting some crazy hip hop music to do a victory dance.  Cue Pitbull.  I'm ready to surrender everything tonight. 
OK...... Tag, you're it.  I stole enough of the obvious ones...... you take it from here...... I'm still basking in the glow of the study.  I'm wearing my chemobrain with pride today.  Yay CMF.  Yay Me.  I had that "mild chemo" .... you know.... the kind that did NOT make me lose my hair.  Instead, and yes, this would be to YOU, CMF:

You shook my nerves and you rattled my brain. You broke my will-- I'm screwed up still..
Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire!

    64 comments:

    1. As I was reading this post, I was thinking about all of the chemo brain moments I have had and could comment about. It's the first time I have decided to comment on a post and I can't remember what I wanted to write.

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      1. VERY good.... that probably says more than you actually wanted to share..... and it's a great first comment, for you... and for this post. If you think of it, you can always right it down and misplace the paper..... :)

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    2. Replies
      1. I like being Lou Costello to your Bud Abbott. I know when new research comes out, I can count on you to get it on your blog right away. I prefer being the joke man..... You, Idelle, are MY American Idol.... just fyi.....

        xoxox

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    3. Awwww...just for that I'm going to tell you something by email, something that I did today that was so chemobrainish, that no one, I repeat, NO ONE (else) must ever find out about. Okay, okay, I'll say this one thing: it has to do with underwear. Check your inbox.

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      1. And all I will say is this: I needed a Leap Day giggle as I'm Leaping (off a cliff?) into the unknown.

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    4. I know it's not the same thing, but I swear I am still having stress (over the whole thing) and surgery brain. It's like I'm finally back to normal, but at key moments, I just forget things and I know it's a reaction to all of the stress...oh and the 8 hour surgery in January! I know, it's not chemo or anything like it, but I still think just the whole mess can screw with your head, you know?

      ~Jen
      P.S. Thanks for the link!

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      1. Yes, STRESS..... and the anesthesia does take its sweet time getting out of your body.... And yes, it ALL screws with our heads..... And now, I intend upon getting to bed while it's still February..... for the first time in months... I want to be in bed... before the clock strikes midnight!

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      2. Jen, I can relate, although it's has been many years. I have been feeling 'normal', (mostly), for about a year now.

        Nikki

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    5. Ann Marie,
      Well, I certainly chuckled my way through this post, although it is indeed a serious topic! I was glad to see the results of that study too. Validation is a good thing, though I did not need it either! I KNOW I have "brain side effects." For example, I may see a movie one night and the very next day, I have trouble telling someone what movie I saw. So far, I haven't gone up to the ticket counter and forgotten what movie I came to see. Come to think of it though, hubby usually does that part. I can remember stuff from ages ago fine it seems, but short-term stuff, not so well. Thanks for the post, more validation and a bit of fun! Hasn't been much of that lately has there?

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      1. Hi Nancy...

        No... not too much fun lately at all..... 1st Komen and then the really upsetting losses: Rachel, Susan.... and I don't even remember what else (ummm, that would be a big duh!). Serious topic, yes.... validation.... when I was evaluated, that was all I needed... now, I'm just a research whore. Medical feeds from around the globe hitting my inbox. WHEN I remember to read them..... Some are impossible to ignore. Twenty years? That's the proverbial train wreck. Can't turn away from that!

        And, I seem to feel like my old memories have gotten "sharper" ...... may be an upside to losing my short term thing???

        Glad we have each other......It means so much... and the group is growing... and that too means so much....

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    6. I love it, so well said. Thank you.

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      1. Thanks!!! Always nice to know someone is enjoying my "stuff."

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    7. Well I just typed a really long story about how I laughed with friends having the same treatment and have totally lost it, where has my story gone?

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      1. Bridget.... I am SORRY your story "disappeared" ... I would have liked to see it!!! I think sometimes when two people are posting at the same time, blogger may get a bit sketchy. I'm learning to "copy" everything before I post..... if it disappears, I can "paste" and try again. It's bad ENOUGH putting the brainpower together to write something only to have it POOF... vanish...... uggg...

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    8. Ugh. I'm not laughing (I will, eventually). I'm thinking "Shit. I do have chemo brain!" (Mine was CT--made me lose my hair and my brain functions. Hair came back. Brain...I'm sorry, what was I saying?

      (first time visitor to your blog; new follower!)

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      1. Yes, you will laugh eventually... but first you have to realize that's the only thing you can do. You employ the work around solutions and you read what you can..... Idelle (whose comments are above) co authored a wonderful book. If you click on her name, it should take you to her site where you can poke around to check it out!

        Nice to meet you!!

        AnneMarie

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    9. Funny as hell..I had R-Chop,<hate that! I have post-it's all over my house, my bathroom, anywhere, just so I remember basic crap! I used to be a chef, now I can't remember a basic sauce, or how to start it in the first place!
      Keep up the good work.
      thank you so much.
      david

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      1. Love that we laugh at this..... my big issue is the damn cooktop! That one scares me.... found a great solution. Microwave, oven or toaster over. Self contained flame. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for letting me know!
        AnneMarie

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    10. This is great. I had a huge smile on my face as I sit here receiving my Herceptin treatment. I was so worried about all the stuff I was forgetting, having to stop when I write something cause it takes me a while to remember how to spell or put the letters in order, transposing numbers, and to read a book? Forget it. I was a huge reader and love to read, but I have to re-read a paragraph so many times it takes me forever to read a page. I found your page on my FB through I Had Cancer web site. Thank you!

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      1. THIS makes me smile. I was able to entertain someone in the treatment chair...... No worries about the forgetting.... You will find you way around the next chapter. Notice how I did NOT say The New Normal??! We will all band together.

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    11. First of all, Moonstruck is one of MY all-time favorite movies, too! I've watched it so many times, I could probably recite most of the dialogue by heart. But, remember what day of the week it is?? Not so much.

      Oy. I always laugh when another one of these studies comes out. Like, no sh!t, Sherlock!! It's not just CMF either. It's not just IV chemo. It's not even just oral chemo. They've done studies that demonstrate that pretty much whatever combo of slashing, burning and poisoning you get, you end up with some degree of Slush Brain. And then there's the all-out treatment assault on estrogen that comes with hormone-positive tumors. And estrogen happens to be quite handy for brain function. Sigh. The fun just never ends.

      Here's a very early post about one of my own typical experiences. Good thing I wrote it down when I did or I'd probably have forgotten it by now. http://accidentalamazon.com/blog/2009/01/27/water-water-everywhere/

      Fortunately, I'm in a profession that's in high demand, so even with my slush brain, they can't afford to lose me. So, I just remind the folks at work every now & then that if they expect me to do something really complicated on the wrong day, it ain't gonna happen. And not only is it not going to happen, I'm not going to give a rodent's derriere about it either. Because between Slush Brain and the F word (Fatigue), there are times when every cognitive & physical function just grinds to a halt. And there's nothing I can do about it except stop & get horizontal as quickly as possible.

      Luckily for us, we may have lost our minds, AM, but not our sense of humor. :)

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      1. I just went over to your water water blog.... and I'm still laughing. I forgot all about the fact that my bills are mostly unpaid, always paid late and I'm decimating the credit score I've taken such great pains to establish. I actually got all teary on the phone with the utility company the other night. Today, I got the shut off notice for the internet. I THINK that's the last thing I have to put on autopay. Now, to make sure I have overdraft on my checking account.....

        Yes... minds gone, sense of humor firmly in place! Thanks, Kathi!

        :)

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    12. You are tremendous - Read your blog and am very impressed - You are a Hero

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      1. I'm speechless. I don't even know how to answer that. The only thing I can say is, "Thank You." This falls under those "random acts of kindness" on a day when I kinda needed a bit of a pick me up.....

        AnneMarie

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    13. They ALL resonate...but for me: I know I have chemobrain when I have to count how many tamoxifen pills are left in the jar to determine if I've taken mine. (Do not ASK me how many times that happened; suffice to say I am now the not-exactly-proud user of a 7-day, AM/PM pill container. UGH!).

      Keep laughing sweetie! XOXOX

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      1. Lori....

        I have one of those pill thingee's too... and one for my TRAVEL bag too.... Makes me feel old....

        BUT, I double dosed on a medication abt 3 years ago.... and the side effects, "possible seizure" .... called the doc... tells me "Get to the ER..and you can't drive. If no one is around, you MUST call an ambulance. There's a good chance you are going to seize" It was an epic nightmare. They called in the psych team thinking I did it on purpose, had poison control involved..... was supposed to be on a 24 hour hold.... signed myself out. Immediately bought the damn pill case!

        Never had the seizure. Wonder if it would have re-electrified my brain?

        ;)

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    14. LOVE your list! I often can't find my cell phone, and if/when I do, I can't remember whom I was going to call. Frustrating...and embarrassing if I am out. It's just another instance of my playing the cancer card. I pull it from my lymphedema compression sleeve over and over again, until it gets frayed and unrecognizable. Keep on keeping on... XOXO

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      1. Find my iPhone app. Awesome. Except I forget how to launch the thing.... and then, I do everything right... and it doesn't recognize my password. I MUST get that under control. Thanks, Jan.....

        xoxox

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    15. Love this post! Especially the one about math - which is unfortunate since I am a Math teacher!

      My problems usually involve locations - I look for bowls in he spoon drawer, socks in the shirt drawer. I search for words but can't find them. I've even shown up for doctor's appointments in the wrong office/location/city.

      No new normal for me either. Thanks for the entertainment!

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      1. Diane!

        Teaching Math!!???! I did a post when I first started this blog about how I couldn't calculate the number of pieces of chicken on the bbq..... I still remember standing in the kitchen laughing at myself..... It was really 3rd grade math!

        Maybe we should do a "words we don't like" post... New Normal would be right at the top!

        Thanks for sharing with me!

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    16. My son has been fighting osteosarcoma for 5 years. And someone sent me this blog. It is hilarious! I laughed and laughed. But what is so interesting to me is that every symptom you so delightfully described is my regular life with Adult ADD. I guess we are all in this together one way or another! Please check my son's great You Tube Video "@#$% Cancer Patient Say" by Woody Roseland. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUP3XqjN69M

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      1. Your son's video is HYSTERICAL....... I am so sorry for what he is going through but he has SOME fabulous sense of humor..... I loved when he remarked about the nurses showing up in the "hazmat" suits to inject him..... and how that really doesn't bode too well for him. A group of us were JUST talking about this. Thanks so much for sharing that!

        Love to you and your adorable son!
        AnneMarie

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    17. Yes, Yes, Yes! This post is so spot on - I am 7 years out of treatment and I still experience the rabbit caught in the headlights look when in the middle of a presentation at work, I suddenly lose the thread of what I am saying...

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      1. I definitely know what you mean.....I have developed the habit of pressing on the bridge of my nose when that happens... thinking it's going to somehow reboot my brain! And thanks again for including this in the round up....... Rock on, Marie!

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    18. LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. My favourite has to be the second one - wanting to punch people in the face for saying, "I didn't have chemo, what's my excuse." Still laughing over your list. It's 2:45am New Delhi time and I leave for the airport in 15 minutes (in the midst of an all nighter and I'm pooped - I mean - why go to sleep when you have to go to the airpot at 3am). Can't wait to catch up soon. NYC Fall 2012. Let's make it happen. Big love to you. xoxo

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      1. Being at the airport at 3am would mean NO sleep for me, either..... Glad I made you smile from halfway round the globe...... LOVE your pics. NYC2012 is a date... NO Doubt!

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    19. When I read the results of the study I cried. 9 years out, and chemo-brain still plagues me. I had the same reaction of "I told you so..."
      Then - the self doubt...am I still as smart as I was?? And...do I share the article with people to explain why I forget entire conversations, or do I keep it to my self in the interest of protecting my image in the world, such as it is. Thank you!!!

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      1. I am SO glad to read this comment. Not because you have chemobrain but because truly, part of the reason I began writing this blog was hoping that even one person might realize they are NOT crazy and there is something going on.... and I saw plenty of studies about the possibility of later onset issues.

        You haven't lost ANY intelligence. It's the ability to hold things in your immediate memory.

        Also.... You added one I forgot.... "Forgetting entire conversations" ...... THAT blew my mind when I first heard it as I remember my husband saying, "We discussed this yesterday, you don't remember? You are really starting to SCARE ME." I insisted HE was out of his mind. Then I heard that on an excellent Cancer Care webinar..... The link may be on the info links page. Was very interesting....

        Thanks for reading and for commenting!!!

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    20. For me, the worst part is not being able to recall things I know I know, I think. I mean, I thought I knew it. I just can't access it. LIke the answer to your question. I'll think of it tomorrow, when I'm trying to balance my checkbook or something.

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      1. And I KNOW exactly what you mean...and the fleeting thought comes into your brain and then, poof..... it's gone.....As for "balancing a checkbook" ... You definitely have one up on me! I have serious organization issues.. Have now relinquished EVERYTHING to autopay because I am killing my credit. Deadlines mean nothing to me. I don't even recognize myself anymore. And, I just laugh!!

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    21. That was an excellent article! I could relate to all of it for sure. Even though my chemo was 10 yrs ago, I still have problems with things. People often get short with me because "I told you that yesterday, don't you remember?!" Duh...no. I forget entire conversations, or that I'm supposed to do something. I even forgot the teakettle was on the stove when I ran out to get the mail. (I don't do that anymore, if the kettle is on, I MUST stay in the kitchen! I didn't know a teakettle could melt, and it almost started a fire:( That was scary to say the least!!) I found the salt shaker in the fridge yesterday, and the thing that was supposed to go in the fridge was in the cupboard. It's nice to know I'm not crazy (well, that kind of crazy anyways lol) Bless you!

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      1. I am WITH you on the stove thing.... that one scares me. The car thing (on my list, too). Losing those whole conversations-I mentioned in a prior comment, I was doing that too, except I REALLY did not know you could drop whole conversations. When I heard Tim Ahles, one of the "rockstars" in this field talk about that, I felt really REALLY awful. I had some pretty good arguments insisting my husband (who is NOT a big "details" guy) was out of his mind......

        I'm glad you enjoyed it.... and no we aren't crazy!

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    22. Chemo brain: heard noises in our kitchen and called out to ask if it was my son. Turned out to be my daughter who I thought was still out of the house. Asked her how she snuck into the house past me and she told me that we had a whole conversation when she came in 1/2 hr before. I had no recollection until she reminded me what we spoke about and then I remembered...

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      1. That's making me laugh. The world thinks we are crazy. And now, the science is proving we are NOT. I've had situations where I didn't hear a kid come in... and I would wonder, "when the hell did she get home and WHY didn't I hear the door open?" It's not like I live in a mansion or have solid concrete walls. :)

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    23. Today I put toothpaste on my hair instead of conditioner... Tube=conditioner. THe good news is that my hair is minty-fresh and has never been at a lower risk for gingivitis.

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    24. For whatever reason, this resolved itself... reprinting the original comment:

      HealingHarmonyA
      love it, Heather .... I remember my ex's daughter always saying "stop using the excuse, what about when you stop chemo?" yeah, and I did Adria & Cytoxan (whee, let's just call it a toxin right in its name!) ;) then Taxol .... I forget I asked customers if they are members, sometimes more than once if it's crazy busy like it was Saturday (doh!) One time I was looking all over for a certain boot in our shoe storage, and said "WHERE are they? Why didn't anyone tell me where they moved?!" and I was standing in front of a white board ... and my co-worker points to the white board, which is TOTALLY filled with this big message "the boots are stored xxxx" my answer? "Man, I really wish I'd had more fun frying those brain cells, you know, like dropping acid or something? But, hey, I'm still here!" ;)

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      1. This is hysterical!!!! I just screamed at my someone .... who shall for the moment remain nameless.... Although...... your first sentence may say it all..... regarding nameless for now person....

        "WTF????? Cancer was over the minute the last chemo needle was removed from my arm, RIGHT??????"

        :)

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    25. Brandie Says:
      So true. I used to read a novel a week. Now, I can't even get through a small book in a few months. And forgetting what I'm talking about in the middle of the sentence? All. The. Time. And I completely leave whole halves of sentences out when talking and then am confused when the person I'm talking to has NO idea what I'm talking about. ;-)

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      1. Ha...... I do it in my therapist office. He knows now. Just brushes it off. I will literally just stop talking in the middle of the sentence and stare into space. This USED to make me well up with tears. Now I really do just laugh..... xoxox

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    26. To Healing Harmony & Brandie.... sorry.... I had to reprint your comments... the whole damn blog got screwed up...... the links to your profiles are not here... you can post them below....

      xoxoxo

      I did NOT need to have this bullshit happen at midnight... when I WANTED to get to bed early.... and now... one hour later ..... past 1AM.... but problem fixed... THAT is the epitome of OCD chemobrain....

      No way I was going to sleep if this blog was a mess. It's my "baby"....

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    27. So funny. I laughed a lot. I'll be happy when I can laugh at cancer rather than feel overwhelmed and angry by it. Thanks for posting. You're awesome. Did I hit the submit button yet? Where is my wig? Ha! xx

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      1. Your letter to "Tide" was pretty damn awesome! I couldn't stop laughing..... and I really am so thrilled you got out there and did your thing. You should be really PROUD of yourself.... I know that sounds trite but it's true..... As for hitting the submit button..... you have NO idea how many email replies I find open at the end of the day... unsent.... who cares, really????

        xoxo

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    28. Love your blog! I can sooooo relate to this! I am one year out of chemo for triple Negative BC and i have had 8 surgeries with one left to go! You are right, I am so sick of hearing "new normal". I see a therapist and go to a support group. Besides living in fear of recurrence, chemo-brain rears it;s ugly and yes "funny" head! Thanks for validating my feelings! I thought I was going crazy! My two kids blame my forgetfulness on "old age"! I am only 46!!! I was diagnosed in Oct. of 2010! Yes, BC Awareness month! So sick of seeing pink everywhere!!!! Thanks so much for the chuckle:)

      Take Care,
      Lisa O'Connor

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      1. Thanks, Lisa!
        The whole goal of this blog was to make sure women did not think they were crazy! Yeah.... I hear ya... and as for the kids, I got my son saying, "Sorry mom, I just DON'T see it" .... well Duh.... of course you don't see it.... it's IN MY HEAD..... and it's VERY specific..... and think when we can speak on some sort of intelligent level, only those who are very much "in tune" can truly see the situation!

        One surgery left.... thrilling to read that..... EIGHT prior.... yikes.....

        Glad you got a laugh!

        AnneMarie

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    29. I have only one question...How the hell did the toaster get in the refrigerator?? LOL! True story. Could not figure out why it wouldn't go in when I KNEW I took it out of there!

      Thanks for the laugh!
      Cindy Manley

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      1. Ha, Cindy,

        I am laughing so hard because I was going CRAZY the other day trying to locate the electric coffee pot. I KNOW where it is kept and has been in the same spot for years and years and YEARS..... Yep.... finally gave up and hours later, opened the fridge.... viola! Coffee pot-plug and all....

        Love that this has turned into a laugh fest for so many of us....

        AnneMarie

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    30. OMG I am at my desk cracking up!! All the stupid things I have done for almost 4 yeards since chemo is all listed here, I LOVE IT!!! I now have proof of "the new normal", thank you for my confirmation! I had A/C and Taxol so I did lose my hair, get nasty mouth sores and severe dementia! I had post-it's everywhere, seriously EVERYWHERE!! I would get up to go to the bathroom and forget on the way that I really did need to pee, that was both my sons favorite!
      I so enjoyed this blog, thanks for the laugh and I am showing this to EVERYONIE!!!

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      1. There is that extra letter, I meant EVERYONE!!

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      2. Thanks, Angela! It's way late and I'm off to bed after a long day. Mostly a crappy-ish long day. This cheered me right up!

        Extra letter,dropped letters and then, lets just add autocorrect EVERYWHERE .......

        :)

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    31. OMG! I don't think you missed any. Awesome list. Sad list but awesome.

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    32. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    33. I was reading your post, but now I can't remember why. Oh well, gotta go find my notebook...

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