I'm starting to feel a bit like I'm working my way toward "the dog ate my homework." Except I don't have a dog. I do have two kids. Both of whom have been out of the house for a long time. For the past ten days, both of them are back. When you are accustomed to being alone and two kids (two adult kids) are back in the house, everything goes haywire.
Hell. The one thing you DO NOT EVER DO to a ChemoBrain person is mess with their rhythm and their routine. Really, I have no routine, no rhythm and mostly, I forget more than I actually get done. What little I did "have" is out the window...... I expect things will be returning to some sort of normal by the weekend. But..... The Writing Challenge. No WAY. I can't write PERIOD. Forget following some rather ingenious prompts. I'm keeping the list. Some of them will be fun. When my head is clear.
Did you miss me yesterday? Why was there no blog?? I was out a tad later than expected on Tuesday evening. I left the "kids" and went to meet someone for dinner. I left at 4PM expecting to be home no later than 9 or 10. My driving privileges have been suspended by my son who informed me earlier, "We need to have a serious conversation about your driving." Deadpan. I thought he was going to accuse me of driving under the influence. I didn't, but I did have a couple of glasses of wine and there was no dinner. The bar was too nice. We ate bar food. And I didn't get home until much later than expected. My phone was in my bag. My bag was at my feet. At 11PM he began calling and texting and I didn't answer. I didn't hear the phone, didn't feel the vibration.
LAST night, I got a lecture. "Ya know, mom, you didn't answer the phone, it was way late and damn it, I had to get up at 5:30. I started checking the news feeds to see if there were any car accidents. I was ready to start calling the hospitals." OK OK OK.... Wise ass son made his point. Apparently, I'm not allowed to have my car for a week. "Seriously, coming in at 1:30?? You left at 4PM!" Ummm, yeah, I'm well aware of all of this......Witty wise ass. Good thing he got the all clear surgical follow up and he will be going back to his place so he can stop worrying about me. What he doesn't see, won't worry him. Yes, the whole thing was very friggen funny.
Which brings me to something I do want to share. It is on the American Cancer Society website. It's precisely WHY I need to be alone again. With my own rhythm and routine. The article?
Chemo Brain: It is Real
Personally, I would have made chemobrain one word and "is" would have been "IS" in giant CAPITAL letters. But that's just me.
Read the article. It's very good...... My highlight reel:
Just one comment because I always have to say SOMETHING......if multi-tasking is "answering the phone while cooking" I am getting in line to collect my employee of the century award for beating myself up for over TWO YEARS as I watched work pile up, drove myself crazy to get it done and finally gave up.
FIRST, THE PROBLEMS:
NOW, SOME SUGGESTIONS:Also, be sure to tell your family and friends what is going on with you. They will be relieved and will worry less.
THAT LAST LINE MAY OR MAY NOT HELP (Relieved? maybe... Pissed off? possibly)
Interestingly enough, when I wanted to blog about chemobrain and the volunteers at the writing program at MSK helped me STAY ON TASK to get the blog up and running, none of them knew what the hell I was talking about. My sweetie mentor asked me if I thought there was an audience..... Now she just shakes her head and we laugh about that first conversation. Me dreaming, Anna rolling her eyes and on Monday, at the annual reception for Visible Ink, we will laugh together as one of my sillier pieces is read by a member of the professional troupe of actors who make this event so special for all. (And yes, just a tad more special for me)
I am honored. I am humbled. Anna was humored by my silly little dream...... validate one person. Just. One. Person. Monday, that one person will be me. Sticking with the loose version of adjective alliteration to describe my feelings,
I am happy, too!