I don't want to moderate comments on this blog and I don't really like to delete things either. I pride myself on being willing and able and absolutely desirous of hearing all points of view. I never EVER expected to be put in a position where I feel I'm being bullied. That all changed last night.
The post that was up yesterday touched on a mess of things that were all somehow connected. It was up from Friday and remained up until this morning. Late last night, there was a comment that was inconsistent with the manner in which I choose to conduct things "in my room." My friend Chayra beautifully referred to our personal blogs as our private spaces.... the places where we retreat to collect our thoughts and wage intimate battles that observers or even other members cannot fully appreciate. She was specifically referring to "us" as the community of breast cancer patients.
One of the movie reviews for which I provided a link contained this comment from the man who reviewed the movie. It was on HIS review page in response to the pushback he was receiving from many women. I left a respectful comment (and very short.... yes, hard to believe but....) and I replied to a woman who jumped to his defense. That reply was also written very respectfully. I don't name call. I don't bully. I may get sarcastic HERE, in my own room, but I always attempt to take tremendous steps to use care when I'm in someone else's arena.
This is now a zero tolerance blog. I will listen to any and all points of view. That will not change. All voices are invited to share in the conversation. However, the moment anything reads like an agenda, there's a better than 95% chance the comment is going to be deleted. And, the instant a comment contains language that is demeaning to me or anyone else for that matter..... or belittles me...... or calls me names like a "miserable little troll" or accuses me of being "blinded by ideology and hatred" and further insults me by stating that I don't care about breast cancer victims (his word not mine) a fraction as much as the Komen people...... that's pretty much 100% guaranteed to be deleted.
Politics aren't tolerated. Ultra liberal, Uber conservative. All Welcome. Devoutly religious or decidedly atheist. All Welcome. Name callers. Closed minded, ignorant people pushing their agenda down my throat. Not in my room. Not happening. Anymore. I'm leaving this comment here in case The Guy decides to delete his words from yesterday's blog. This is my reminder of what I will no longer tolerate.
This comment broke every rule. He talks politics and religion. He uses words that are offensive to women everywhere. Words like hysteria and shrill are nasty words. He claims we are mean spirited because we care more about abortion than breast cancer. He claims whenever a film like this is made, "a little bit of research is in order." To that I say, "Yes, research is in order and YOU have failed miserably in your research." Dude: This movie was already released months before SGK shot themselves in the foot with their Planned Parenthood debacle. And, FYI, when you donate to PP, you can DESIGNATE that your donations go to fund mammography screenings. Where did you dream up the rest of the shit you simply spewed with such venom and directed it all at me??
I'm not blinded by anything. I stand true and proud. I stand up for the women with metastatic disease. The women that Komen chooses to ignore. Ask any one of them..... Ironic, considering that is WHY Susan Goodman Komen died, don't you think? Anyway...... this comment almost sounds like it came straight from someone in Komen's camp except that I'm not deluded enough to thing that Komen is paying any attention to what I have to say. But damn if it doesn't sound like a promo piece.....
Rather than answering this nasty little man in my own room, I did reply to him at the place where his review was published. The reply I posted appears below his mean and hurtful words. Karma is a bitch and this guy will get his. Not wishing anything on anyone, just remembering some of the wisdom of my dad. In this moment, it's nothing profound like some of the other dad-ism's I've shared. This is from the guy who grew up on the streets, went to school, became an attorney, raised a family and was EXTREMELY protective of all of us. Right now, dad's saying, "Walk away, He'll Get His." And you know what, my dad was always right. And I know he's right this time, too.
Without further adieu, yesterday's delete-worthy comment, riddled with stupidity, inaccuracies and the words only a puppet or someone who is drinking the pink kool-aid could possibly summon:
I think it was highly inappropriate for you to leave the remarks you wrote here addressing several women as a comment on my blog where it reads as an attack on me personally.
You may not have said anything disparaging about cancer patients in your review but to refer to me as a meaningless troll blinded by ideology and hatred is mean spirited. I'm a cancer patient. I advocate for others who are newly diagnosed. I try to make sure that people simply ask the right questions before they pick up a piece of merchandise donning a ribbon. I object to Komen for NOT researching OR helping the underserved to the degree that they could. They are still raising awareness. My ONLY gripe with Komen is that they have not moved with the times. They have long since achieved their goal of making sure we are all aware of the importance of mammography. The lion's share of the money is still being poured into awareness. Why is it not going to research? After all, the foundation was started because a woman died. Metastatic disease killed Susan Komen. Shouldn't the organization that bears her name direct SOME money toward helping others with metastatic disease?
I'm sorry you have chosen to take what could have been a meaningful discussion and instead passed judgement on my politics, my religion and what you see as my lack of intelligence. I don't discuss politics or religion on my blog... I stick to following the money... and it's not going to the right places. If it were, we wouldn't be inches off the starting line after billions of dollars and decades of research. I'm dissatisfied and disillusioned. Where are the advancements? Where are ANY meaningful results?
Like it or not, as the largest breast cancer charitable organization in the world BAR NONE, Komen IS at very least partially responsible for the lack of progress . They are holding most of the cards in the breast cancer gig.... They aren't acting in the best interests of any of us who've been diagnosed with this disease. That's my gripe in a nutshell. It's got nothing to do with being shrill or Debbie Downer or for that matter spewing hate. It's got even less to do with politics, religion or the planned parenthood mess. It's simple. Komen has the name, Komen has the money and Komen COULD have advanced the research if they weren't so busy raising awareness.
And for the record, I think I was extremely respectful in the comments I left here despite our oppositional points. I think I deserved the same courtesy when you posted your remarks in "my" space.
FYI-I get the last word on MY blog. Don't even try to leave a comment, Tom (and friends). OUR conversation is over. Bash me in your own space. I'm not moderating anything so you will get a cheap thrill for the brief time the comment may be on the screen, but I promise, any further remarks by you will be deleted the second I get a comment notification.
Extra hugs and thanks to my pals on twitter and Facebook for sending me cute pictures (which I will share when I'm not weary and exhausted) and wonderful words of encouragement. My motives are pure and my actions come from a place of genuine concern for friends and loved ones. I'm certain Tom can't say the same.