Monday, August 6, 2012


I don't have an ounce of wisdom or wit to share.  I feel like I've been running around like the proverbial chicken without a head for the past seven days.  In one week, I think I may have experienced every single emotion known to man.

Joyful at a family celebration yesterday.  Grief stricken upon hearing that Jenny died.  Lighthearted and filled with laughter over dinner with a group of friends one night.  And the next day, surrounded by greatness, inspired by the passion of others to stir those passions inside of me.

Downtrodden last night when I learned of the death of another woman, someone's mom. Metastatic Breast Cancer.  I became friendly with this young woman many months ago and to learn that her mom died yesterday morning broke my heart.  Filled with a sense of purpose on the hospital floor on Friday visiting the surgical patients.  The evening before my hospital visit, a bit of anxiety.

Scanxiety.  With advance apologies as this isn't my scan but nonetheless, I have scanxiety.  I'm quite certain this will all be fine, but follow up tests for mom.  Waiting SUCKS.  But wait, we must.  A PET Scan is on the menu and once cancer is part of your life, any tests equate to anxiety.  Tests not normally in the rotation? Anxiety levels go right through the roof.  That was the "stuff" I mentioned on Friday.  It was a secret on Friday.  By last night, everyone was in the loop.  Now, all of you are in the loop too.

Sorry, mom.  Didn't really mean to out you but we're in this boat together.  Waiting is infinitely easier when there's a crowd to distract you.......  At the moment, we are still at the first phase of waiting.  The test hasn't even been scheduled yet.  Contrast dye.  Too soon.  Bun creatinine tests.  Can't overload kidneys.


Distractions Welcomed.


  1. Anne Marie,
    It's ok that you told everyone about my PET scan. Now I hope I have their prayers. What
    ever way this goes, I am in the Lord's hands.
    And yes, cancer sucks and in limbo while waiting.
    Mom xoxoxo

    1. I love you. Once you told everyone, I figured I could tell everyone ELSE. Many here are more "real" than the people around the geographical corner when the support is concerned. The only problem..... for whatever freakin' reason, sometimes this stuff posts to Facebook automatically. Will go check that.....


    2. No problem if it posts to FB. Thanks to your wonderful group for cheering me on.

  2. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

    My favorite distractions while waiting for test results: funny movies or a fabulous book....being outside in wonderful weather gardening. Maybe the Olympics?

    Sending you hugs,

  3. Count me in as part of that crowd attempting to help lighten the load for you a bit by being a distraction, cheerleader or whatever I can be from a far. I am and will continue to be, thinking of you both. And yes, cancer sucks. Sending hugs and prayers for sure.

  4. I'm so sorry, AnneMarie. Wish I could distract you more besides leaving a comment. Hugs and prayers your way. You are so special. xx

  5. Ugh - this really stinks! Sometimes there is no good way to fully distract yourself from thinking about something like this. Whatever you choose has to be pretty mindless (i.e. not require a lot of effort) and funny. After all, they say laughter is the best medicine. A silly movie (Ferris Beuller's Day Off or one of National Lampoon's Vacation movies) may help. Jody suggested the Olympics and I think that's a great idea. Marvel at the athleticism on display - I'm still trying to figure out how the synchronized swimmers can get their bodies to come shooting out of the water like they do, and how they can hold their breath for so long. Let us do some of the worrying and praying for you. Know there are a lot of us out here that are pulling for Mom!!! Hugs to both of you!! xoxo

  6. AnneMarie
    Your mom has great support from all of us here. I often like to think if my mom were still here if she'd be computer savy and join in the conversation.
    Waiting is hard. I know waiting for my tests I did a lot of different things to distract myself.Watch movies was on my list. Go outdoors....take your mom for tea....have lunch, visit a museum. I know waiting sucks. Cancer sucks even more. Take care...Love Alli.xx
    PS I have gone back to blogging just not going to talk about my current situation......

  7. Thank you all for leaving such kind words. And some great ideas for distractions, too! It means a tremendous amount to me (and mom, too) to know there really are people "inside the computer" that DO care. You have all touched my soul in ways I can't describe. And ALL extends to those who've sent me notes on twitter or emails or those who I know are reading and simply thinking good thoughts. ALL means all who've read this and embraced my mom and I with such support.



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