Tuesday, October 23, 2012

KEEPIN' IT REAL -- I MEAN -- REAL MESSY

My issues with my brain are all about getting started, keeping things on track, staying organized.  I am certain there are many people for whom this is has always been an issue.  If that were the manner in which I operated, this would not be a big deal.

However, I was always Miss Organization.  My work was always neatly arranged within my workspace and I knew how to prioritize.  Files in the cabinets were clearly marked and within a moment, I could put my hands on anything I might need.

Now?  Not so much.

From an alphabetized spice cabinet, I've come to a place where mail remains unopened for days.  Hell.  Sometimes it remains in the MAILBOX for days.  I have a number of different work areas but primarily, I've moved out of my office.  I can not stand being confined.  I dislike sitting at my desk.  My desktop computer is in need of an upgrade and frankly, I don't have the patience to reload all of the software.  I'll drag my Macbook any place that "calls me" in any given moment should I decide it's time to do something.

I tried rearranging my office.  It was some sort of pseudo, who the hell are you trying to fool, AnneMarie style attempt at Feng Shui.  Maybe the problem is that my desk faces the window and I am distracted by the outdoors.  Maybe it's because my back is facing the door?  I know plenty of people who refuse to sit in a restaurant where their back is to the room.  I suppose some of THOSE people have a "back stabber" thing going on?  I don't know.... I only know I have a traveling office these days.  It's the Macbook and where ever my brain tells me to go.  The brainless leading the brain challenged.

The only thing I do know?  THIS is progress.  This is what the floor looked like last night and this is what I am waking to this morning.  Every single thing is important.  And every single thing must be addressed.  Sooner rather than later.  Some of those notices require letters of reply.  Some require phone calls.  Others require payment.  Some require a deposit slip and a trip to the bank.  And yes, I do have the mobile deposit app on my phone but there is limit on the number of checks so it will take an entire week for me to make these deposits if I don't just go to the bank.  Bottom line?  ALL require attention.  Immediately.  My attention.  Except, I have the attention span of a flea.

In the midst of sorting this mess out, it became imperative that I snap a picture.  In the words of my buddy, "You can't make this shit up."  I couldn't stage this if I tried.  And, I already consolidated some of this stuff BEFORE snapping the picture.  I hear Beyonce.  She's singing to me....  "Sucks to be you right now."

I sure could use some help.  The pay sucks because technically, there is NO pay, but there would be a whole lotta laughing. Any takers?  I'm sure there are at least five "to do" lists in that mess somewhere.  Maybe we can turn this into a drinking game?  Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Perhaps gasoline and a match?
FYI <---- there are more papers beyond that binder and yes, it does extend this way ------> too.
Ladies Home Journal?  It was my 15 minutes.  Did you see it?  I have to preserve the copy.
Final thought, I think I got up because I ran out of room.  When I started sitting on the papers, I just got up and went to bed.
Cue Gone With the Wind and Scarlett:
I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.


 

16 comments:

  1. Honey, you need a professional archivist. I am at your service. Seriously. I can help you.

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    1. Scorchy...
      Love you.... And I will take you up on that offer. This photo is about 3 weeks of paperwork I allowed to pile up. The office is another story. THERE is shit all over the place. The office looks great but is a worse mess than what I got going on in the den. I will pick you up and drag you here when I'm ready to tackle my office. Then, we WILL turn it into some sort of drinking party! I'm not kidding when I say I was uber organized, either. This mess represents my "mild chemo" and my "good cancer" ..... this is my "new normal" .... I'm going to buy an assault weapon to shoot this place up. The upside, now that I know I really have medically documented issues with this shit, I laugh. A lot.
      xoxox

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  2. As one who has always lacked organizational skills, I guess it must be a bit easier for me to deal with chemobrain than it is for you. Tidiness is over-rated, well until you're searching for something! Ha. Don't beat yourself up too badly. You, my dear, are well-informed, articulate, organized and "together" in all the ways that matter most. Love the photo! Makes me feel better about my piles of stuff.

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    1. Oh Nancy..... You make me laugh because I kept beating myself up over and over and over again as I watched this stuff begin piling up around me. Today it IS funny because I know I "have issues" ..... I truly do the Scarlett thing.... Get as far as I can, then I'll go outside and listen to a chirping bird. I feel like that little kid on the ball field playing the outfield...picking grass as the game is going on!

      xoxox

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  3. I see you use the same filing cabinet that I use: the floor. To anyone else, it looks helter skelter, but to us, it works just fine, thank you very much. Please tell me the two bowls on the floor are for your pets:)

    XOXOXO,
    Brenda

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    1. haha! those are for the plants right outside the door. I'm "weaning them" to the indoors in the hope I can get them through the winter. They are my favorite bougainvillea plants.....

      I'm getting back on the floor..... got completely distracted with the stupid iPad mini... see... now was THAT really necessary????

      xoxox

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  4. When I couldn't stand it anymore, I bought four (but I need one more) collapsible mesh laundry hampers (about the size of a small basket, with handles) and threw all the paper in them.

    This morning, I went crazy trying (and failing) to find the dental insurance cards that came in the mail last January. Incidents like this make me feel as if I *must* organize the paper, but I can't do it. I don't even know where to start.

    And, like you, AnneMarie, I was always organized, probably to the point of mild OCD. Now the lack of organization upsets me, depresses me, gives me anxiety...but I can't take the first step to fixing the problem.

    Well, maybe a bonfire...

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    1. Rhonda..

      Mild OCD... yes... that would be me... more than mild when it came to the "organization of paperwork" stuff...

      I have a series of baskets. Maybe I'll photograph those for another post... They LOOK organized.... They, too are an epic mess!

      xoxox

      The gasoline is ready.....

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  5. I know just what it is liked to be overwhelmed by the mountains of mail and messages all vying for my attention! I find that if I do even ONE little thing, it lets me know I'm at least moving in the direction I want to go....

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    1. That's exactly how I plan it..... ONE little thing.... then I get distracted by text messages or instant messages (today from both kids) while I was trying to concentrate on listening to how Apple is going to take a substantial amount of cash off my hands....

      Going to get to that one little thing, right now...

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  6. This isn't so bad...I can still see the floor.

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    1. OK. good thing I wasn't drinking when I read that.... Love good laugh....

      Hugs....my friend!

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  7. dear annemarie,

    i feel fer ya, babe! long before serious chemobrain set in, i decided to set up a "pending" file - scripts for tests and meds, to-do stuff before having tests and taking meds, items that needed entering on next month's or next year's calendar, et. al. and that was just one of MANY files, but one i depended upon, especially since we also had all of hugh's medical stuff to keep track of.

    now that my brain is like a plate of scrambled eggs, going into that file (that's if i can freakin' REMEMBER to look at it, or even LOCATE it) elicits more "WTF???", than a clear map to what's coming up. shit. i feel like the only way i can possibly keep up is to string a chain thru both ends of that GD file and hang it around my neck. i tried neon-colored post-it notes, but most often am clueless about what they refer to. i hate those damned post-it notes anyway - they're so SMALL.

    great post - i imagine all of us in the "club" laughing out loud today. but it's so true - when things are swirling about, accumulating at an alarming rate, and threatning to bury us, just reaching out and grabbing one thing to deal with does feel encouraging.

    love, xoxo,

    karen, TC

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    1. kTC...
      Ha!!!! I had a HUGE note, I am not even kidding about this. It was on a sheet of loose leaf taped to the top of my desk.

      "MUST CHECK TO DO FOLDER EVERY DAY"

      OK... so the note is there...Now What? The folder moved into a notebook, then two and somehow, I wound up with that. Epic mess. That I photographed. For a laugh. And posterity. And, for what it's worth. The pile is still strewn on the floor. 24 hours later.... and I am going to rearrange it and get ready to get out of here for an early meeting tomorrow morning....

      Love to you, my dear friend...

      xoxox

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  8. Multi tasking and chemo brain ...oil and water. I hear ya... I have to work at being organized now, before chemo it was natural to be organized, an asset. Your priorities are different too, your passions are in the moment to help people and communicate with them, working with others. Administrative necessities just don't have the same pull.

    My only suggestion is to turn off all media for an hour each day. Bills are the priority, use a tickler file for that. Deposits are obviously a priority......, do that in the same hour.

    The rest create a pile for medical, pile for paid bills and receipts, and a to do folder for stuff that can wait 30 days.

    I started keeping a log of the tasks I've done each day.....instead of a "to do "list that I forget to follow. I just make simple notes...saw doctor blah ....not too specific, but enough info that if I needed it later, it's there.

    And.....I throw a lot of mail in the trash or recycling too........

    I have used the floor many many times in life to organize.

    PS...the Feng Shui thing about the door is that your office desk needs to face your office entrance. If you cannot see who is coming and going, you are distracted, and plus it says something about increased money flow because in this arrangement you are relaxed.

    Good luck and you will get it done...one thing at a time!!!!

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  9. I appreciate this post AnneMarie. Like you, I try the one thing at a time, but that doesn't always work. I make one to-do list and then keep adding to it, or forget I have that one already and start another one. I do have to come back to one thing at a time and staying present on that one task in front of me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. And gratitude helps me keep it in perspective--grateful I have money to pay the bills, grateful I have a house with floors, grateful I have technology that helps me stay connected, grateful I can read and write...you get the idea :-)

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