Wednesday, February 26, 2014


My brain is always short-circuiting and yet, I have this amazing recall for certain things.  But yes, I'm still here and still quite noisy even if the noise is more in the 3D world than it's been on this space or in the world of twitter.  Or, the noise may be in my head, but it's there and I'm still standing.  Sometimes, it's quite an effort and it requires the help of more than one person to keep me in a vertical position.  I've been on a rocky path.

Months ago, or, more accurately, two years ago, I recalled a blog I read.  It was my friend Renn who blogs at the Big C and Me.  In her words:

"A virtual graveyard is not what I had in mind when I stepped into the design section of Blogger.  But it is a brutal reality of breast cancer."

I can assure you, this blog began as a big joke about my zig zagging brain.  I didn't expect it would lead me on a path of advocacy or would provide the means for me to learn about the importance of evidence based medicine.  I could never have dreamed it would have taken me to some of the places I've been nor could I envision the number of relationships, solid relationships filled with respect, love, admiration and countless other things, that I've developed with so many people.

Likewise, little could I have known that I would circle back to matters of the brain when I decided it was time to lend my voice to the mental health arena for whatever bit of difference I might make.

Today, however, I once again find myself mourning.  Not one, but two young women, each of whom has held a special place in my heart.  Ten days ago, Acacia Warwick and Shelli Gibbons died.  Yes, breast cancer.

To the ill-intentioned people who decided it would be a good idea to raise awareness about the plight of those with pancreatic cancer using a campaign where a pancreatic cancer patient is saying, "I wish I had breast cancer" I ask, REALLY?  I'd like Jada, Acacia and Shelli to speak from their graves.

And then there's Kohl's and Katie Holms and a campaign that surely looks like a deliberate rip off of METAvivor's signature "Elephant in the pink room" campaign.  Lori blogged about it along with several others.  I'll be watching to see how that plays out.  If I need to start a twit storm, I'll let you know.

I will write proper goodbye's to both Acacia and Shelli.  My heart is once again shattered.  Carolyn wrote a beautiful note about Shelli on her blog.  Love for Acacia was shared on the Bradley University website.

I know Acacia nominated me for a WEGO Health award and despite my megaphone mouth, I get a bit embarrassed to be held in such high regard so I never mentioned the nominations.  I'm very happy I saved a snapshot of the quotes on the nomination page.  I was humbled when I saw them and today, I sit in tears as I look at them.

The good folks at WEGO are providing avenues and opportunities to have our voices included on many levels.  I support their efforts.  Here is the link to the nomination page.  If Acacia took precious time from her shortened life to share her thoughts, I honor her efforts by sharing it here.  Thank you, Acacia.  I don't think I had the chance to offer a proper thanks in the commotion that has been part of my life over the past several months.  And now, it's too late.  And that makes me sad.

All that said, I'm thinking 2014 is not off to such a great start and we're already two months in.  I'm not sure if it's social media as a whole or it's just my particular part of the planet but I kid you not when I say an exorcism is in order.

It's time for a breath of fresh air.  My head is exploding with things and none of it is terribly pleasant.

Love you ALL..... every one of you.

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  1. I saw one of their commercials yesterday and thought "What's all this about? It's not October." Thanks for enlightening me. Now I think I'll go boycott Khols.

  2. I'm so sorry that you have been bombarded by so much in 2014...every loss of a beautiful lady or gentleman to breast cancer is horrible. Thank you for sharing about them and for standing up for mental health. You are a blessing!

  3. There's nothing worse than chemo brain. I still have it and it's been almost 5 years. However, I refuse to be like my father who died of Alzheimer's. He was so afraid he was going to forget something that he darn near wrote down everything. He had these little notebooks he would keep in his pocket and he constantly wrote in them, like the exact time and date I graduated from high school. He even made a comment about the weather and I would presume the comfort of his seat. When he passed away, my step-mother found so many little notebooks that she said should could have almost made an entire wardrobe out of them if she had stitched them together. It frightens me somethings when I'm sitting at home or in my office and I can't remember the simplest thing. However, I just relax until the information finally makes its way to my brain.

  4. Anne Marie: I am just now reading your blog post.

    I did not know Shelli passed away.

    I am utterly stunned.

    I wrote a blog post the other day (first one since January) and in it I mention dozens of bloggers (including you) who have been special to me. Here is the very very weird thing: I remember typing Shelli's name and linking it to her blog (as I did with the others in my post). And now I'm reading your post, and I learn that Shelli has died, and I get chills because I remember listing her in my post and here's the weird part, she is not there... Somehow in my editing, her name got deleted. Which really sends shivers down my spine. And then I did something you talk about above and quote me saying (more chills): I moved Shelli's blog from my "favorites" to the virtual graveyard I have labeled "We'll Never Forget."


    Surreal. Sad.


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